How green is your catwalk? How sustainable is your vision? How circular is your economy?

These were the questions Vogue found dominating the Spring 2020 catwalks back in October 2019. They were legitimate questions and ones that once again will need answering. But not right now. Time, like fashion, changes quickly and these questions are no longer on everyones lips.

Having finally arrived in the Spring/Summer of 2020 a different crop of questions appear to have arisen. How long can I wear my tracksuit bottoms before I need to wash them? Is a common one along with Why bother with a bra? and Should I go grey?

The predictions for what we’d all be wearing this season have been thrown out of the window as ‘We the people’ take back our style. No longer will we be dictated to by large fashion conglomerates urging us to partake in this environmentally destructive industry. No longer will we be a slave to trends and a desire to fit in. The rules have been relaxed so much they’re taking an afternoon nap….And we’ve never looked better.

Here with correspondence from the front line are the ways in which we’re defying what was expected of us and creating our own Quarantine Chic

1. Comfy bums

Whether it’s an old pair of leggings that have seen better days, some tracksuit bottoms with stains on them or simply your TKMaxx workout pants ~ Bottoms are comfy AF. No restrictive waistband need apply for status during this time. Elasticated or ‘way too loose to be seen in public’ waistbands are what we’re looking for. Along with baggy knees and an unflattering butt. Comfy bums do exactly what they say on the tin but perhaps most importantly, with all this sitting around that’s currently popular, they don’t give you trapped wind. Winning on all levels.

As the weather heats up a random selection of shorts are representing Comfy bums.  They can be unattractive sports shorts, way too flimsy running shorts or simply inappropriate for public short shorts. Any will do they simply need to be accompanied by an unshaven leg and a severe need for a pedicure. Reports coming in from a nearly 40 year old woman in South East London, and I quote ~ ‘…My legs are so hairy right now as I was walking around my flat last night – legs out – I could feel a breeze in them..’

2. Underwear? Nowhere!

It’s a controversial trend but one I urge you all to embrace. Firstly lose the bra. Don’t even look at it. Let your baps be free. Give them time to unevenly swing and bob about with not a care in the world as to who’s checking out those sweet nippy titties. All the way over in Hove I heard whispers of individuals still wearing a bra simply for that feeling of relief when it’s whipped off come 5pm. Whatever floats your boat.

Speaking of boats, if you haven’t already, lose the under crackers too. Going commando is the new ‘wearing underwear’. It’s everywhere. I’ve never had such a low rota of washing clothes. Saving the environment AND airing your overgrown privates? What’s not to love about this trend.

3. Mixology

A personal favourite of mine that has spilled over from previous seasons. Mix and match has never been so prevalent. Put it all on together. Think more mixing and less matching. Actually forget matching altogether. Whilst standing in my local post office queue for 45 minutes the other day I felt particularly proud of my outfit. Some grey bobbly leggings paired with bright blue and yellow bermuda shorts. An orange puffer jacket was involved whereas a bra wasn’t. The cohesion of this outfit was immense. It reminded me of way back in mid March 2020 when I would pair a nightie I’d not bothered to change out of with some trainers and a winter coat just to take the bins out. Trés chic.

4. No Poo & No Slap

Trend forecasters may have predicted with the return of the roaring 20’s chic bobs and kohl lined eyes would once again be en vogue. It appears none of us have chosen to take up these styles. Instead we’re putting down the shampoo altogether and letting ‘natural oils’ style our dos. ‘What a state’, ‘So overgrown’ and ‘No, it’s just greasy’ are compliments often heard on the front rows of FaceTimes.

Whilst the majority of makeup is gathering dust on dressing tables the red lip appears to still be going strong. Stylistically, for me, it brightens a dry, sallow, zit riddled face.  It was spotted twice in that 45 minute post office queue and it’s also making a regular appearance at group Houseparties accompanied by raging insomnia and a pint of Gin.

5. 50 fades of Grey

The colour of the season? According to the projections of fashion weeks there’s never just one but this season those in the know went with Grey. Whether it’s old leggings, baggy jumpers or bottom of the drawer underwear. It could be your lover’s tracksuit bottoms, the colour of your society deprived skin or simply your roots coming through ~ grey is everywhere.

From slate to marl to Jaime Dornan’s acting this is a colour that needs to be embraced as well as revered for providing comfort and solace at this, what I would say, real moment in fashion history of great grossness.

As for accessories ~ Bags are so last season as are heels, boots, brogues, oxfords, wedges, mules…basically anything that isn’t a trainer or a slipper. Jewellery appears to be worn either not at all or all at once so it isn’t, like a large portion of the workforce, made to feel redundant.

Whatever style you choose to adopt this Spring/Summer be safe in the knowledge that it hasn’t come from the catwalks. No magazine or influencer predicted your chosen chicness. You did it all by yourself using the clothes you already own, a dearth of hair dye/clippers and a lack of interest in showering each day.

If you’re over on Instagram wearing your latest pristine Ganni dress whilst sitting in your flower filled garden, then good for you! Go for it. I, on the other hand, am bucking the trend of keeping it together and am currently on my South circular facing balcony wearing a pair of unflattering trousers I cut into shorts, a t-shirt I’ve slept in for 3 nights and roots Debbie Harry would be proud of. Once again, Trés chic….

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